The parched earth
Those pregnant, joyful clouds
Scented moist air
Whistling wind, and the sweet chill
The steaming cup
A book in hand
Rain, monsoon, and more rain….!
Death is a peculiar truth, which we slowly accept over a period of time, but when it’s attempted under extraordinary circumstances, it provokes an unusual discomfort.
I lost a friend recently. She hung herself to death, for; she could not cope up with life. A life, which evoked stark difficulties and unrelenting pain. It may sound bizarre to many. To some, it might be a cowardly, selfish act. Some may sympathize too. But, when I heard, I was angry at what she did. Why did she not think about her family, her friends; that she left behind. People, who cared for her. Suicide, is the most miserable thing to do to oneself, to people; who are left behind to grieve for a lifetime. It’s defying the law of nature and, none of us have the right to tamper with it. But, who should I complain to? Who should I scream at? The person who’s never going to be around? The thought leaves me severely pained.
I believe there is no such difficulty, which cannot be overcome. It just needs courage, perhaps a little hope, and loads of strength to overcome the difficulties. In Albert’s own words, Albert Camus’, “But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.” Life, for all of us, is a journey, which takes us through a series of highs and lows, and towards the end, it’s all about how we survive, and how well we survive.
All I can do now is pray, so that her soul rests in peace. But, here’s what I would like to say, please reach out for help, whenever you feel helpless. Suicide is NOT the solution to problems in life. It’s so unfair to you and to people around you. Human life is precious. Every being is special. When you are about to succumb to such thoughts, think of those, who love and care… Please.
I do not plead to be saved from danger, in face of danger, may I not be afraid. So be it if you soothe not my woebegone heart. May I have the courage to conquer woe! – Rabindranath Tagore
and yes… Life has to go on…!
Difficult times teach you a lot. Undoubtedly the hard way, but they do. This morning while sipping my cup of tea, I looked out from the balcony, relaxed and pondered if it did any good to me. It has changed me as a person for good I suppose,
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe
Something inside kindled,
prompted me to come back,
to a world of mysterious beauty,
and eclectic joy,
of connecting and bonding,
sharing and laughing,
in endless ways…
and greatest care!
I was going through a transition phase – both on a personal and professional front. Hence this unannounced break. There were “some” people who did not spare even this space to pull me down, affect me and hurt me, but I did not choose to stoop down to their levels. I chose silence instead. Cared less and remained calm and quiet. Rediscovered myself in the process and found my own happiness and zeal to live my life.
Professionally and personally I am very happy now. Thanks to all those who have been pillars of strength throughout.
Wishing you all a great festive season ahead!
P.S. (Thank you for your unconditional love, to all those emails and requests to come back. I will reply to each mail personally very soon)
Life is good, may not be ideal but yes; I am genuinely putting in a lot of efforts to make it better, much happier and most importantly content. I have incredibly struggled to reach this stage. A tide in my life has relatively calmed down. I had understated my life during difficult times. It’s so bright and colourful. Just that, slowly we need to smear those grey layers and allow the sunshine to seep into our lives. Undeniably; this wouldn’t have been possible without a strong support system. Having said that I’d also like to share, that in the entire process elements like Self Drive, constant Self-Reassurance with a certain degree of poise all along …helped a great deal to fight it. Otherwise it would have been impossible to defeat. I referred, defeating life’s queer paradox.
Nevertheless, there are days when life gets tremendously busy & time seemingly flies ultra high. And then there are days when everything comes to a standstill. Nothing would move an inch further; leaving no clue with what to do subsequently. Those times frighten me. I get worried. I become uncontrollably paranoid. Its stark bitter – but obvious; not all times would be same. There would be highs and there would be lows. There would be good things and bad too…amidst all…Life goes on. It doesn’t stop. It hasn’t for anyone, it won’t for none.
Now, I have learnt my lessons. Our mind needs constant conditioning & therefore, a kick-start to a new evolved “Me”.
A mixed feeling, rather a confused one, lost in thoughts, almost unsure! Sometimes, its not what we want, yet it happens. Why, how, what…no one knows. Still, there are questions unanswered and then there are severe uncertainties. Is there any end? I guess not or I hope there is. A wandering mind that needs to be tethered. A distraught mind that needs rest.
P.N.-(Sorry for being away..am doing okay…just itsy-bitsy things. Thank you for your concern, your emails…& all your UNCONDITIONAL love and support! I guess this is what got me back to my blog world, to my blog friends)