What women want?

This is for a few eligible friends of mine who are a bit confused as to what to look for… in a right guy while choosing them as a life partner. I know, in arranged marriage it’s a bit difficult as the time frame to understand or know more about their would-be is quite brief ….while in Love marriages too it’s ruled out of late, since all in love would exhibit their coolest habits and hide their grey areas (in some cases out of fear of losing their partner & rest out of deceiving habits :p ). At least I believe that money, degree, swanky jobs and posts etc…& looks (minimum that you can desire is he is presentable) are very temporary and they certainly do not count in my list… so what does..?

1. Should be a good human being.
2. Should be sensitive towards your emotions.
3. Should be loving and caring.
4. Should be responsible enough.
5. Should be very considerate and respectful towards his own parents and family (If he does, he surely would care for you).
6. Should be there with you when you are in pain and distressed. Should sail with you through the tough times.
7. Should be compassionate and accommodating to not only your needs and desires but others too.
8. Should be supportive towards your decisions.
9. Should love you unconditionally.
10. Last but not the least of course, he should be completely committed to you.

It certainly may sound like a perfect 10 list, and not all the above said characteristics you may find in one guy but trust me if a guy is not sensitive and caring enough towards you and your emotions; he is worthless and the chances of such a relationship getting weaker is pretty high!!!

A note of caution for those who may think I am being unrealistic: Well at least I have not mentioned that a guy should be muscular, should be fair & handsome, should know how to cook, should be able to look after house and kids, should be able to balance work and home etc etc. ….unlike guys who mention, “Sundar, susheel, gharelu kanyayein” (Pretty, decent, homely bride hi chahiye in matrimonial ads & likewise…)

Relationships, any relationship for that matter needs to be worked upon…!!! The balance has to be created from both the ends to make it really succeed life long!!

Hope…

If hope was not there many of the beautiful things in life would not exist. Why do people pray for their near & dear ones even when there is no hope left?

Heard somewhere that…

…the joy of life principally comes from human relationships”

I learnt from…

A – How it is important to live each moment, because when we try and sneak in and around us, there is much more suffering and loss…and not to forget the painful moments.

P – No matter… to what extent your loved ones hurt you, forgive them and move on! She helped me discover the other side of me… create my identity and do small things to make ourselves happy. I draw immense strength and inspiration from her.

M – In life; how to value and care for personal relationships. How to give in your heart and soul into the relationship and make it work.

My cute little niece…I call her Suhana…Suhaan…Gungun…laddu…rasgulla…and what not…! I forget everything else when she naively smiles at me…she is such a sweetheart!

Is it mandatory that a boy should be elder than the girl to get married?? What if it’s the other way round?? What if there’s a 10 year old gap between the two??? Do these nitty-gritty things bear relevance if both the ends are compatible; have similar likes and dislikes and willing to live together under the sacred bond of wedding?

What has age and religion got to do if the two feel very comfortable with each other, if they can complement their life wonderfully, if they can converse on incessantly about any topic under the sun…share similar tastes…love to care for each other… then what’s so derogatory about it..? Is it a major social issue if the partner is overly elder than the other…? My personal answer is “NO”.

Marriage is all about being together, for each other and understand each other completely…rest should be of minimal importance. Of course I do not hold any degree on relationships nor specialized to pass on a judgment but just thought of expressing what I think strongly about. This may be a debatable issue but how many marriages work smoothly when it’s so called well arranged after age, caste and religion differentiation is well approved of. Are they really happy and content?? Do they actually have similar feelings or they just drive their marriage for the heck of it and keep mum as a part of compromise in life..? The phenomenon continues, no matter how contemporary we become but at the end of the day it’s all about the society and other external factors…that influence our lives…OUR so called PERSONAL lives.

Some undefined relationships…

The involvement with him has been for four years now…nevertheless it has been tough to decide who is he?? What role does he play in her life..? How can he be referred as… a good & trustworthy friend, a philosopher or a guide? He has mentored her from the day one. Since then they have known each other. Though it was a brief stint however that short span has inspired her and instilled confidence in her so much so that she would not hesitate to show her heartfelt gratitude to him ever in her life… He has high hopes on her…he expects her to fly high in the sky, dream big and achieve it…be independent and live life with sheer dignity. Till date he encourages and inspires and she feels a sense of security having him around.

He has always been there whenever she needed…she loves spending time with him, talks incessantly whenever they meet, throws tantrums and he takes it all with his acute tolerant behavior. Any problem in her life big or small, she knows who to call up..? He has been the biggest critic in her life and don’t we all know that honest criticism always makes a better person out of you. Sometimes he scolds her too, for her immaturity and she takes it with a positive spirit.  Theres nothing called the word imposiible in his dictionary….

Not all of the qualities she likes about him. She hates when he is impulsive, and over-reactive on certain things. She hates him when he tries to be too perfect….She hates when he flirts with her though nothing offensive ever…because it’s all in a light context. Last but not the least of course he has occupied a different place altogether in her heart which is of high repute and immense respect and a platonic relationship which is immaculate & inexplicable!

She feared to get involved in any relationship as it was futile to work towards it, family struggle, social impact, etc….but always hoped somewhere in the corner of her heart to meet someone who would sweep her away off her feet with his charm, intelligence, caring and loving personality.

 

It’s funny but the thought that you may meet your man anytime, any moment is pretty adventurous. It could be while traveling by bus, train or flight or while walking on the roads..just anywhere.(one of those filmy types and then there are intended  ways to meet people through these social networking sites like orkut, yahoo etc,..but not the trusted ones always.