Her little hands and feet waded as if she knew someone was coming to hold her, someone was approaching to own her forever. Her eyes twinkled. She was barely a year old, lying on the cot. Aesthetically beautiful, and Malini knew instantly that this is the one she wanted to shower her love upon. They finished the paper work and rushed towards her; she held the angel closely to her bosom and determined never to leave. The little one, unaware of her life ahead, gave a heart-warming smile and snuggled upto the warmth.
Malini was a woman of strength; she knew what were the challenges involved… in taking up a decision like this. She had to convince herself first and then her husband and finally her in-laws. It wasn’t an easy job at all. Everyone had their own apprehensions. “Would you be able to love her equally and be concerned the way you have been towards Zinia?” Zinia was the first and only biological kid of three years borne to Malini & Ashutosh. “You need to be extra careful dealing with a kid like that, for even if it’s a genuine rebuke, they take it too personally, and react strongly”. “It could be diseased…”..“We never know from which parenthood he/she would come from”, “What if he/she becomes a rebel later, knowing that they are not his/her biological parents”, “It’s mostly in genes, what if the kid turns out to be a total spoilt one” etc etc…But, Malini was stern about it. She could deftly handle the situation. Ashutosh was a loving and an understanding husband. He mostly supported her for the fact he knew that Malini always thought carefully before plunging into anything. It was a noble thought after all to adopt and nurture a child.
Her flat was adorned at the arrival of Kavya, the little angel into the world of Roy’s. Kavya Roy – that’s what she would be known as, they contemplated.
5 comments
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April 8, 2008 at 11:15 am
Hemant
Malini ability to love leads to attachment to a Kavya, rather than the status of that Kavya in relation to the parent….(I think, or most people would agree). Your view?
April 9, 2008 at 6:46 am
Shabnam
That’s right Hemant! It’s the ability to love someone unconditionally what matters and not the other external unimportant factors.
April 9, 2008 at 8:09 am
Badhri
Hey Shabnam,
Its a good rendition of what goes into one’s mind as she takes such a big decision. I could see that you slid yourself into Malini’s shoes!
If I am allowed to offer some critiques, I would say. If you are an aspiring novelist or short-story writer, please try to be extra careful with English. I feel that it really makes the difference between great and good story.
Please don’t get me wrong. Your English is very good and grammatically correct in this (to the extent I know!). But I could find a few spots that can be improved with careful review.
For example,
“Malini was a woman of strength; she knew what were the challenges involved in taking up a decision like this.”
“what were the challenges..” would be used when the sentence is interrogative (question). Here the correct usage is “…what the challenges were..”
Similarly,
“Each had their own apprehensions”
“Each” is singular, so instead of “their” is should be “he or she” (I think).
Again, don’t get me wrong. I don’t presume to be an English Grammarian. But its a great feeling to read correct and simple English!
Looking forward to reading more!
April 9, 2008 at 10:39 am
Dew
Thanks for your comments however, I feel that the passage I have written is more on a colloquial note and do not intend to become a writer/novelist out of it
…though I understand your zest for correcting and simplifying English.
Sometimes I feel the meanings of the sentences change when you read it in the desired manner. Or may be I should have added a coma to pause after”…the challenges involved,” and then it may be more appropriate to read it.
The next point as in “Each had their own apprehensions” – here I agree,….and may be “each” can be replaced with everyone ….which shall take care of the error.
Next time I really need to watch my grammar too with someone like you reading my blog
May 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Aishwarya Mishra
Badhri, agreed! Shabnam is a writer par excellence.
Shabnam, one point that I notice is that unlike some people (like us, I guess
) you do not have to use dictionary-demanding words to get the point across.- which is a good thing. I see an opportunity here – let us say, you write short stories like these to get social messages across – for TTR. Something like this post itself.